Posts tagged with rants

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August 6, 2009

Past academic shortcomings continue to haunt me

Just when I wrote about trying to start anew by chronicling my experiences in UP Law, my academic shortcomings last year come back to haunt me. I felt very distressed this afternoon after an unfortunate re-test of one of my freshman subjects. No matter how much I try to recover from my past mistakes or to reform from my, admittedly, poor performance last year by being much more diligent with my studies this year, they will continue to haunt me. There’s no use regretting to have taken up a lot of extra-curriculars last year and not offering my jealous devotion to law. My renewed enthusiasm in studying may well be for naught. I don’t know what to do now. To quit, I may, to transfer I might consider, but for now if it’s not meant to be, I shall take the break and surrender to my unfortunate academic fate.

I apologize to everyone I might be disappointing. I am thankful to those who understand. Admittedly, I felt terribly upset a while ago. All’s well now. But that’s probably it. Goodbye.

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June 17, 2009

Academic woes get worse

I’ve been quite distraught the past days over my academic standing in Law. I’m in the brink of being kicked out because of my grades. Kicked out temporarily, at least. Since I was already on probation during the second semester of my freshman year, I am not allowed to get any more failing marks, but after enrollment two weeks ago, our Criminal Law 2 grades came out and unfortunately, I got my first 5.0 ever. That should effectively dismiss me from UP Law. The anomaly and the confusion, however, is that I’ve already enrolled before the grade came out and that classes have already started, and I’ve signed my class cards and all the first-day shiz. Another thing is that the cause of my probationary status last semester, a 4.0 in Persons & Family Relations, is still unresolved. Now I don’t know if my enrollment is voided, if I can remain enrolled conditionally pending the resolution of my unremoved 4.0, or what? I still have to talk with our College Secretary to clarify my status and negotiate something.

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October 9, 2008

Perennially distracted

I can’t seem to fulfill my plan to isolate myself and become a law school monk. Every once in a while I can’t help but turn the TV on and watch some entertainment or some shows off CNN. I would sigh at how pathetic some news commentators, short of sounding like capitalist paid hacks, spin the news of the global capitalist crisis into something barely positive. Every morsel of positive detail is being used to salvage the perception of capitalism’s inevitable collapse. It’s like everyone’s in denial. This was bound to happen because of this system’s inherent characteristic. France, Iceland, Singapore, Japan, even the USA is on recession. Those who speak of free market policies have suddenly now shut up and allowed state intervention to bail out greedy private financial institutions. What happened?

Okay. So even if I turn the TV off and go back to studying, I still end up losing my focus. Every half an hour or so I would get up from my study table and walk around the house trying to do something else. More often that not, I’d end up just playing with Tisay and watching cartoons with her.

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September 26, 2008

When studying becomes a fault

It pains me when friends and colleagues take it against me when I am unable to spend time with them or do some tasks because I need to spend time to study.

Perhaps only fellow law students really understand. Nagsasawa na akong magpaliwanag. I’m just starting to sound like I’m making excuses all the time.

All of you want me to become a lawyer but you make me feel bad for trying to get it done. I don’t think many of you understand how terribly demanding law school is. I’m tempted to take a picture of my piles of readings, worth thousands of pages, all of which I had to read and will have to re-read through for the final examinations, just to show you how seriously I mean it when I say I need all the time I can to study. I wouldn’t wish such an ordeal on any of you.

I’m trying my best to juggle and handle everything. ‘Pag kaya ko naman ginagawa ko, ‘pag may oras ako nagpapakita naman ako. But this I’ll admit, I’m really just so compelled to give much more time to studying. If I don’t spend as much time or more, I’m really, really going to fail some of my subjects. And if I fail I will never become the lawyer you want me to be, something I really want for myself, too.